Monday, December 21, 2009

Adam's First Battle

I am very pleased where Edgebrook is going. I'm writing things I never planned in any of my outlines. It's scary, like shuffling through a dark room. I'm afraid of falling into plot holes that I won't be able to fix in revision or getting stuck at a dead end. But there are some pleasant surprises along the way--clearer glimpses into my characters' heads, exciting bits of dialogue. It's a learning experience. 

I left Adam in the middle of an unexpected battle, and the last thing he did really shocked me. I didn't think he could be so vicious, but he saw Riley in danger and his feline instincts kicked in. I have a feeling that he might feel guilty after the dust settles. We'll see tomorrow....

Revisions are going slowly, but I'm not being so hard on myself. It's the holidays after all. 

Merry Christmas!!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dreams and Delusions

I have started revisions on Moonfire. 

Actually I started several weeks ago. I wanted to be done with the darn thing by now. The process is daunting.  I feel like I'm stumbling through a hurricane of random words grasping at them and crossing them out with no clue what works and what doesn't. 

I've doubted my talent-- will anyone even read this? Am I any good at all? What if I can't make it as an author? Will  I be working in a hardware store for the rest of my life? It's very scary. I see my mom worrying constantly about money. It's like a weight the size of an SUV bearing down on her. Will it be the same for me? 

I see grown men and women flipping burgers or scrubbing tables, talking about the jobs they loathe, bosses they hate, bills they can barely pay.  I can't help but wonder... did they want this? When they were little and their elementary school teachers asked them what they wanted to be was it all a cruel joke? Did that guy who made my sandwich at Subway want to be an astronaut? Or that woman who ran the check out at Walmart want to be a singer? 

To me, further down the road, if I'm not living anything but my dreams, I'm living in a trap. I work in a hardware store for my uncle,  he's a good boss, and I don't hate my co-workers, but there's still a restlessness there. I like my job-- most of the time :)-- but I like writing better. Sometimes it's a tug-o-war between the two and it leaves me at a loss. Will I lose sight of my dreams and be stocking the dollar aisle for the rest of my life? I hope not.

But as I'm revising Moonfire and my sentences don't sound like the other authors I read, I question myself. Am I really good? Do I have a future at all in the publishing world? The harder things get the more  I wonder if I've only tricked myself into believing I stand a chance. Is this a legitimate dream, worth pursuing, or a delusion that will pass with time? We'll see.

On a side note: I turned 18! 

Friday, November 13, 2009

What's a Writer to Do?

I have wrote two and a half books in three months. You could call me obsessed-- though dedicated sounds a lot better. You could even call me mad. I'd still be hovering over my laptop still in my own world while I pretend to listen to you. If you're lucky you'd get a nod.

I've been stretching myself a little thin. I'm working on three different books right now and something has to give. I think I'm writing myself into a rut. Is this what I'll be doing a year from now? I have two first drafts sitting in my hard drive (and really slowing down my poor Mac.) Should I start revisions or finish the rest of the series first? That is the question that haunts me. I want to be published. Maybe I should get a book ready to send to an agent perhaps? 

Hmmm, but that would mean dropping out of NaNoWriMo. I don't feel my heart as much with this book. Maybe I should polish up Moonfire-- my favorite. 

I'm so torn. 

I think I'll let NaNoWriMo rest this year, the idea will still be there when I finish my beloved Silvermoon Series. 

Moonfire... in print. I think I just had an epiphany...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Ready for NaNoWriMo, My Dears?

I'm not. 

I don't even have my scenes planned out, but you know what? I'm writing anyways, and so far I like where it's going. 

I'm writing about a princess, Jaz, from a land called Cannes, who for the position as Captain of her kingdom's army, goes behind her father's back and escorts her sister, Ellia, to an enemy king in Elmes who wishes to have Ellia as his queen or else he will annihilate Cannes.
But when they meet an Elmesian, Eian, who hides his face and works dark magic, tensions arise between the sisters and Jaz's best friend, Sari, as this mysterious stranger steals Ellia's heart and sets his sights on Jaz.  Eian always gets what he wants.

Just a rough summary. Exciting huh.

In other news I've decided to take a break from my beloved Sable, but just for my NaNoWriMo 'vacation' I feel a little guilty when I see it moping about in my hard-drive when I go to click on other projects, but we both needed the break. I was ready to chuck my Mac out the window from the frustration.

Edgebrook is going good, I tossed most of the first third of my plot and just winged it, letting my characters drive the story for a while and I really like where it's taking me. Very exciting. I should finish my first third for my assignment in the next few days. I was worried about letting my instructor see my first draft with all the typos and crappy prose, but I've decided not to let it bother me. I'm a fast first-drafter and that means lots of errors. Lots.

I'm excited, and I hope I'll manage to finish another novel for NaNoWriMo by my birthday this year! November 30th! The last day for NaNos and my first day as an adult. 18! Eeep! Well almost an adult anyways. 

Ooo, and check out those nifty little progress bars over there nice huh?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Halloween Horrors

A month ago if I saw my writing habits now I would scream. 

It really is horrible-- for my goal-oriented perfectionist half, that is.

I haven't worked on Sable in days, I'm not getting up at 4:30 anymore (curse my drafty, cold room), and NaNoWriMo is only days away. My goals have been flushed down the toilet along with all the other crap trying to pass for writing that I've had to cut from Edgebrook (about 10,000 words.)

It's a living nightmare!

But I think it has helped me some. I suffered from a little burn out and now, easing into a more flexible schedule I'm starting to feel a little less uptight. I think I'll let Sable rest for a little while and focus more energy into my course novel, Edgebrook. and revising Moonfire (first in my Silvermoon Series, I've already completed draft one of the second and Sable is the third.) 

So I'll try to look at it as more of a holiday than a horror. I break from my usual strict word count goals. 

I wrote 1,000 words for Edgebrook today, using Write or Die. It truly is priceless and if there are any procrastinating writers out there I cannot recommend it enough. It's amazing how much words I can get out when I'm trying to keep that darn screen from flashing red.

Time to work on Haloween costumes. I'm going to be a masquerade dancer and my sister is going to be a pirate, and I've got a lot of sewing to do. So good bye for tonight, loves. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Angela Snapped, Edgebrook Came Alive, and I Didn't Hide

Angela snapped.

Ever since I killed one of Sable's pillars, one of its strongest characters, Angela has been depressed and really hard to write. Her new response to difficult situations is to bottle it all in instead of her usual explosions. Normally her first response to everything is Fight! But now that she's hurting she just makes her face an emotionless mask and digs her claws into her palms. 

But today she let a little of her old self out, except in a darker way... Out of the blue she started wailing in this guy (who was a complete jerk, I'll give her that) and all of the pain and rage she let out floored me-- not to mention the guy who's head she was slamming her fist into repeatedly.  I love it when my characters surprise me like that. It's a good feeling.

Edgebrook came alive.

I've been stuck in one POV (Adam's.) My instructor thought it would be best. And, crap, has it  been suffocating! It's hard for me to tell a story through just one MC's eyes, but today after a pity-party I buckled down and just let Adam tell me how it all really went down. "Screw your fancy outline!" he said. "This is how it's going to be." 

So of course I didn't argue (He's super strong and turns into a giant ferocious cat! Hellooo!) And when I turned him loose I started to get chills and my passion for this story came, like the nights I spent telling it to my sister, staying up until four in the morning because I just had to tell more! Very sweet memories, those are. 

I didn't hide. 

I went to church, led worship, and hung out with the youth group at Wendy's; not once did I retreat inside myself. I came close, but I snapped myself out of it before I could go there and it was a good feeling. It's nice feeling comfortable around people my age, I wasn't worried or skittish. I was me, albeit a slightly quieter version of me, but me nonetheless. It was great. 

Edgbrook: 11,000 words
Sable: 50,000 words

Friday, October 9, 2009

Edgebrook: My Newest Project

I promised I would so here's a little bit about Edgebrook. 

This is a rough summary and is subject to change. Edgebrook is the book I'm working on for my college course on writing books, from The Institute of Children's Literature. So here it goes.

Seventeen-year-old Adam is just a victim of typical teenage rebellion. Everyone's wanted to run away at some point in their lives, right?

His adopted parents don't understand him, and he's sick of his tiny town. But since he's strong enough to tie crow bars into bows, and he can change shape into a cat twice the size of a lion with saber teeth and four inch long claws, you can understand his frustration.

When he runs away from Edgebrook, his plans of showing the world what he can do are thrown out the window when he is sucked into another realm.

In the desert land of Nuria, inhabited by tattooed, red-eyed people with crimson angel wings; Adam finds his path crossed with Riley, a beautiful mystery, with a temper hotter than Nuria's three suns, who had her wings clipped for a horrible crime committed against the Nurian king. 

As an evil plot unfolds to open a portal to earth and unleash an indestructible army, Riley is sure stopping the King's enemy would earn her grace in his eyes. And Adam is sure the journey will uncover his forgotten childhood and reveal who his real parents are.

Can Adam discover the secrets of his past and help Riley earn back her wings? Adam  is determined to do so. But between his absent memory, a powerful warlord, and an unrequited attraction things aren't going to be easy. 

But then again, Adam's never backed down from a good challenge.

There it is. Still working out the kinks. 

Sable: 44,700 words. 
Edgebrook: 7,000 words